Whatever your eye falls on

Whatever your eye falls on – for it will fall on what you love – will lead you to the questions of your life, the questions that are incumbent upon you to answer, because that is how the mind works in concert with the eye. The things of this world draw us where we need to go.
― Mary Rose O’ReilleyThe Barn at the End of the World: The Apprenticeship of a Quaker, Buddhist Shepherd

As a photographer, and a mindful one to boot, this quote seems like excellent guidance with regard to photographic subjects and self enquiry. Note to self – When following a mindful photography practice, where the seeing is my anchor, I will notice what it is that I am drawn to. For in that space lies opportunity, discovery and self awareness.

The photos below are a selection from this morning’s practice. I note some familiar themes, of shadows, dazzling light and triangles, and wonder about the glimpse of the castle.

 

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Weekly Mindful Photography Challenge – Shape

Every week throughout the summer I will be posting a photography challenge that is designed to bring you into the present moment. They can be completed with any camera, even your phone. Your favourite photos are posted to our Facebook group, which is a public group so that you can invite your friends to join in.

This week’s mindful photography challenge is ‘Shape’ and is an invitation to create one photograph that illustrates the theme. It could be a photo of an actual 2 dimensional shape (as distinct from form which is 3 dimensional) or it could be a shape create by the elements in your photo. My photo below takes the latter approach and was created whilst following a Mindful Photography practice. I do have a bit of a thing for triangles in my work. How many can you see in this one?

When you go out to practice imagine that you can only create one photo. Walk around your chosen location. Observe your surroundings. Wait until a photo opportunity grabs you. Look at what stopped you and why. Consider how you will frame it (what is in the frame and what is out?) Consider how your camera will see the scene. Then create one photo.

Share your favourite photo here.

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Satisfaction – A Pot of Tea

The simple things in life can bring much pleasure. One of my mine that brings much satisfaction is a pot of leaf tea.

Now I have to say, right at the outset, that a pot of tea made with tea bags can be OK, but that is the best it can really achieve. Yes, it is true, I am a tea snob! Well, I am an Englishman, what did you expect?

Actually, I believe the the British have lost their way with tea. Once upon a time it was all leaf tea. Now, it is predominately tea bags. I get the convenience, but it just ain’t the same. First up it’s the taste. Leaf tea provides so much variety. You can have the malty full body, morning awakening of Assam. The delicacy and gentle persuasion of Darjeeling and many in between. I have at least three types on the go in the house at any one time.

However, the complete satisfaction comes with the ritual. A ritual that is indeed a mindful activity! Warming the pot. Choosing the leaf tea. Boiling the water. Steeping the tea (3 – 5 mins dependent upon type). Removing the leaves or pouring through a filter and then taking that first sip. Also part of this ritual is visiting the new breed of cafes that do offer a range of leaf teas. Choosing something familiar, or maybe trying something new to challenge your taste buds.

Then of course there are the accompaniments. Simply put these are company and a quality cake or biscuit (cookie to you Americans). In a lovely coincidence, that is exactly what I am going to do now. Tea, cake and company. What a great part of the day.

Unusual – scenes from a nostalgic trip

This past weekend I took my lovely woman to my old home town, Torquay. For those of you out of the UK, this is a very popular seaside town in South West England and is reached by one main route, the M5. I mention this because the combination of it being the main route in and it being the first weekend of the school summer holidays leads to chaos on the roads.

We planned to avoid some of this by leaving on the Friday morning. Good plan, except the heavens had other ideas. A biblical deluge turned visibility to that of a thick foggy twilight on a winter’s day. Even so we were an hour or two ahead of the other early leavers and the ensuing traffic jams, so we took our time with a long stop halfway to restore equilibrium!

Upon arrival we headed for two of my favourite old pubs, the second of which (The Cary Arms on Babbacombe Bay) provided the calm and beauty our jaded minds required. This was even more necessary as the first pub (The Old Rydon, Kingsteignton) was awash with mums and kids just released from school. This was exacerbated by a school trip on an old London bus depositing another 60+ kids in the car park as we left!

The weekend was a great success with plenty of nostalgia for me and lots of lovely experiences for us to share. The scenes below are ones that I felt responded to the ‘unusual’ theme for this weeks WP Photo Challenge. The header photo, also copied below, was the key photo that shouted out unusual! After all, when was the last time you saw an English pub being squatted in. It make me wonder if they were still serving beer!

The other photos initially were not that unusual to me, but then I realised not everyone has lived the same visual experiences. So I include a few more photos of an English tourist resort.

Devon Cream Tea – both sweet and savoury

The boat at the end of the lane

English seaside bathing huts

Braving the still chilly English sea

Iconic – phone box, flag, lamppost and thatched cottage

The Squatted Moon

This much I know

I was tempted to leave this paragraph blank! For whilst it seems that wisdom may be acquired as one lives through life experiences, I often feel that the longer I live the less I know. Perhaps I am confusing knowledge with certainty. Maybe it is not that I know less, more that the certainty of youth is replaced by a wider understanding that life is complicated and there are many possibilities and alternatives.

Richard Osman, the quiz master on Pointless (my favourite TV quiz it has to be said) when talking about this issue, said “In life, you’re like a rocket. For the first 35 or 40 years you’re being fired up into the air, and whatever your fuel was – ambition, money – you’re burning it up to get the rocket higher. But then at some point you fall to earth again.”

This I can relate to. I am very much on earth, at base camp and truly exploring that ground. And here, amongst the foothills is a thought that is slowly coalescing into a truth. There is but one guiding principle that determines what it is all about. It’s all about love or fear.

Love and Fear

Love and fear are the two main emotions that we are capable of experiencing. Every other emotion is a sub set of either one of the two. Not only are they polar opposites they are each also linked to one key hormone that regulates our body. Fear produces cortisol and is part of the fight/flight response. It is the hormone that helps our body facilitate a rapid response to danger. Unfortunately, our modern lifestyles and culture have created circumstances where it is a response to stress, rather than danger that is the primary reason for the hormone’s production.

Love, on the other hand produces oxytocin, which is our body’s natural antidote to stress and the effects of cortisol. If this area is of interest to you take a look at this article which identifies clearly the effects of lifestyle and hormone and ultimately love and fear.

Back in the foothills of understanding; it’s all well and good understanding something, it’s in the living of it where the challenge lies. This is where mindfulness can help. By practicing mindfulness we can become closer to our emotional experience. Living in the present moment, noticing what is happening in our mind and body provides us with the opportunity to identify whether it is from love or fear that we are living.

The Present Moment

Writing this has achieved two things. Firstly, it has brought me into this present moment. I have realised that fear is always part of my experience and runs right through all aspects of my life. Secondly, this realisation has reminded me of the new understanding I am developing of fear; how it shapes our behaviour and how I can change this.

New learning takes a while to assimilate and behaviours take practice and time to change. I have re-visited my earlier post on Fear and will be listening to Tara Brach’s talks again about moving beyond the fear body. If you have not listened to them yet and if any aspect of what I have written resonates with you then I recommend them to you. If time is tight then just listen to the second talk as it summarises the first talk and recommends two approaches to dealing with the fear. The second of these explains how love is the antidote and how we can compassionately support our experience to change our fearful reaction.

Photography and love

In my Online Mindful Photography Course I explore more of this territory. I find it particularly interesting to explore and develop love through photography. ‘How can you do that?’ you ask. Here are four ideas that you can use as a basis for a Mindful Photography Practice on Love.

  1. Allocate a significant period of time (several weeks would be great!) where you only create photos of a loved one. This is inspired by Eric Kim’s Cindy Project – do take a look at the link as Eric explains why you should do this project. Obviously, they will need to be comfortable with the idea, but perhaps if you explain that you are exploring your love for them, they will be comfortable and even excited!
  2. Visit a location or place that you love, in the weather that most inspires you, and create a set of 10 photos that best represent what you love about the place.
  3. Choose a photographer who’s work you love. Study their work. Consider their style, their subject matter, their POV, their lens choice. Produce a set of 10 photos as an homage to their work.
  4. Create a small set of photos (or just one if it’s too challenging) that illustrates what you love about yourself.

Do let me know if you try any of these and I always welcome examples of your work to share here. The photos that I have used to illustrate this post are from a set of photos I call ‘Promenaders’ and were created after being inspired to try a de-focused 50mm lens on a wide aperture. I just love the abstract cartoon like effect created.

 

 

 

Weekly Mindful Photography Challenge – Time Off

Every week throughout the summer I will be posting a photography challenge that is designed to bring you into the present moment. They can be completed with any camera, even your phone. Your favourite photos are posted to our Facebook group, which is a public group so that you can invite your friends to join in.

This week’s mindful photography challenge is ‘Time Off’ and is an invitation to create one photograph that shares a little of how you spend your time off. On one of your rest days this week take your camera out to play! Imagine that you can only create one photo all day. Observe your day. Wait until a photo opportunity grabs you. Look at what stopped you and why. Consider how you will frame it (what is in the frame and what is out?) Consider how your camera will see the scene. Then create one photo.

Share your favourite photo here. This is mine.

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Fear

The following post is a personal summary of the wisdom, inspiration and guidance provided by Tara Brach (meditation teacher, psychologist and author) in her two talks called ‘Beyond the Fear Body’. Links to both talks are provided below and I encourage you to spare 50 minutes per talk to fully appreciate the depth of understanding Tara Brach has regarding the role fear plays in our lives. Direct quotes from the talks are identified and the rest is primarily a summary of her guidance.

Beyond the Fear Body 1                 Beyond the Fear Body 2

Why concern ourselves with fear?

If we look at the difficult aspects of our lives, in the shadows we will find fear. Underneath the emotions we will often find fear. We can sense it. Sometimes it is sharp, sometimes a background hum, sometimes a restlessness. There is no way to come home to our wholeness, to love ourselves fully in this world without befriending the background agitation, the fear.

Fear is a dominant driver in our life. Fear + resistance (to the fear) = suffering

But how do we change our relationship with fear? How do we move from acting out in familiar ways and habitual behaviours, to wisdom and compassion. Instead of running from our fears how can we learn to turn towards, to lean in, to what we are running from? How can we find our way to presence and embrace the life that is right here?

What is fear?

Fear is our anticipation of loss. Loss of our health, job, esteem, person, control of our life, life itself. Fear is an evolutionary habit, it is nature’s protector. The oldest parts of our mind (the limbic system) provide the fight/flight response that is designed to enable us to function at our physical and mental peak, in order to save our threatened lives.

Fear turns to suffering when it oversteps. When there is a repeated perceived threat and it is not processed. Fear then locks in and the sympathetic nervous system locks in. Our bodies’ response is named by Eckhart Tolle the ‘Fear Body’ and is made up of the physical response (flight/fight response, leading to a developing bodily tension, tightening in the body, causing blockages) and our thoughts (worry, planning, controlling, obsessing, imagining) which combined dictate our behaviour.

Our behaviours in this response are to not look for what is wrong, but to distract ourselves, to try to diminish the feeling of fear. We may look to distract ourselves from fear by eating, drinking, doing things, pouncing on others or withdrawing. This ‘Fear Body’ state could almost be called a trance. The limbic system has hijacked our access to another part of our mind, the frontal lobe. This is the part that provides our capacity to be present in the moment, to notice what is happening and be mindful.

How does fear make us feel and behave?

Fear catches us in something smaller than we are. Sometimes called ‘the big squeeze’, fear squeezes out our capacity to be present and loving as part of something bigger. Instead we are locked into the smaller part of ourselves, our egoic self. Everything is centered around that limited self perception, we lose living moments and are hooked into a re-activity.

Fear drives our addictions. It brings us into conflict with ourselves and others. We become more controlling and more manipulative, as we try to bend the world to our will. Deep into this process we become less intelligent, act stupidly, our creativity is limited, we loose spontaneity and our hearts close.

In our wider society the affect of unprocessed fear on a collective level is the cause of war. When we are afraid we get violent, self protective. We try to gain control and assign blame. We manipulate this by explaining how something is wrong with the ‘other’ (the other being because of difference: race, religion, city, club etc). We don’t find it so hard to be violent to the ‘other’, they don’t feel real or connected to us. We are not connected to their suffering.

Our intention has to be to evolve from this re-activity. To move beyond the fear body to ‘attend and befriend’ the fear.

How do we evolve from re-activity?

How can we learn to attend to and befriend the fear? How can we inhabit the motivation to hang out with fear?

There are two key inter connected pathways: Direct Presence and Train the Mind

1) Direct Presence

Direct presence is being completely here now. However, being completely in the moment when confronted by rising emotion, fueled by fear, is not always possible. Fortunately, there are cues we can follow to raise our awareness that we have moved into the fear body. Firstly we can note our physical symptoms: these tend to be in throat, chest or belly. We can investigate gently, with curiosity not judgment. Secondly, listen to the mind. What thoughts are present? Where do they take you?

Now we need to train the mind to be able to come totally into the present moment and to connect.

2) Train the Mind

Our intention is to “redirect our attention in ways that build some of our strengths in what we love, so that we can be with our fear”. We remember that we are connected by love to a whole world. We remember our strengths. We find access to a positive mental state. How do we do this? We need to change our habits, to train our attention to go where we want it to. We don’t have to use the familiar neural pathways. We need to forge new pathways, new ways of thinking.

I often liken our habitual thoughts to being the motorways of our mind. Re-training the mind to think differently means forging new off road tracks. As Tara says,

“We can train our attention to have a different experience. ‘Neurons that fire together wire together.’ If you consistently learn to pay attention a certain way, a way that reminds you that love is here, even when you feel scared…..then every time fear is triggered you get a little more access to remembering that, you get a little more space to be with the fear. Where the attention goes, energy flows.”

So, in the midst of noticing the Fear Body ground yourself. Feel the gravity: your feet on the floor, your bum on the seat. Slow your breath, breathe deeper. Put a hand on your belly or heart, breathe. Remind yourself that you are part of the whole. Reach out to wholeness. No matter what you call it (Jesus, Buddha, higher self, Gaia, God, soul, universal energy – everything in the universe is made of the same stuff). Can you accept that the fear is here and soften?

“Our path is to meet our edge and soften” Chögyam Trungpa

Fear is the path. Fear is the practice. Fear is a portal

Read how Tara Brach met her edge and softened here

The Photos

The photos accompanying this post were created in response to a personal fear. The location, lighting, composition and black and white conversion were partly planned and partly instinctive once on location.

 

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The Illusion of the Self

The existence of a thing that we call ‘self’ has been discussed, investigated and argued about for more than two millennium. Philosophers, Buddhists, Christians, psychologists and biologists all have shared their thoughts and theories.

What the ‘self’ is and how an understanding of its influence can support you is intriguing. I am interested not only in the views of those aforementioned specialists, but also how I can use photography as a tool for self enquiry (pun intended!).

 

Photography and the self

It seems pertinent and practical to use an artistic process, in this case photography, to relate your inner world to the outer – using all those visual tools to communicate thoughts, ideas, feelings, concepts and sensations. As Henri Cartier-Bresson said, “A balance must be established between two worlds – the one inside us and the one outside of us. As a result of a constant reciprocal process, both these worlds come to form a single one. And it is this world we must communicate.” H. Cartier-Bresson ‘The Decisive Moment’ 1952

Photography creates an opportunity to visually represent the ideas of what and who you are. You can use the visual elements of design to convey emotion, you can make imaginative use of symbol or metaphor and you can create self portraits that convey something of your self, your world and your views on who you are.

My intrigue and interest in this topic has been kindled whilst cultivating a mindful approach to photography and life experiences. In developing my  Mindful Photography Online Course I have touched upon how mindfulness provides a doorway to self enquiry and an investigation into how the concept of self may just be an illusion. I have also explored those ideas I listed in the last paragraph to investigate how you can represent your world in photos. All of this has helped me personally and by sharing my experiences through the course it can help you.

I have in the past experienced a loss of self. A severe constriction of my breathing has left me unable to be anything beyond the next breath. Over many days I experienced feeling unmanned, adrift and disconnected. I lost a some sense of who or what I was. I found this deeply unsettling and it caused huge difficulties.

When my breathing rebalanced I felt reconnected. But the experience caused me to reflect. What was it that I lost? Was there something of an opportunity arising from the experience? I don’t have the answer for you, but I continue to explore this land through my photography and writing. Do you?

 

Research

I have continued reading around the topic and have also started listening to relevant Buddhist Dharma talks. The prose below is from a talk at Gaia House, Devon by Leela Sarti entitled ‘The Illusion of Self. Equanimity and Beyond’. I found it resonated with my experience and hinted positively at how dissolving the ego can make us whole. I hope you find it useful.

There is a brokenness out of which comes the unbroken.

There is a shatteredness out of which blooms the unshatterred.

There is sorrow beyond all grief which leads to joy.

And the fragility out of who’s depth emerges strength.

There is a hollow space to vast for words, through which we pass with each loss. Out of who’s darkness we are sanctioned into being.

There is a cry deeper than all sounds, who’s serrated edge cuts the heart, as we break open to the place inside which is unbreakable and whole.

Whilst learning to sing.

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Look Again

I met up with Mindful Photographer Ruth Davey today. Ruth runs Look Again, a photography business that ‘uses stillness, mindfulness and a connection with nature to help clients look again at themselves and the world around them.’

Look Again combines therapeutic and mindful photography in walks, workshops, projects and training. Most intriguingly it is Ruth’s lived experience of using photography in her recovery from mental health difficulties that lends such authenticity to her work. This I could relate to and it reminded me that by discussing our own difficulties and relating how mindful photography can support our self understanding and acceptance we provide a safe space for others to do the same.

I have invited Ruth to contribute a blog post about her work, so you’ll be able to read more soon. In the meantime if you are interested in learning about her work visit her website.

 

Weekly Mindful Photography Challenge – Summer

Every week throughout the summer I will be posting a photography challenge that is designed to bring you into the present moment. They can be completed with any camera, even your phone. Your favourite photos are posted to our Facebook group, which is a public group so that you can invite your friends to join in.

This week’s mindful photography challenge is ‘Summer’ and is an invitation to create one photograph that represents an element of your summer. Maybe go for a walk with your your favourite camera/lens on a lovely sunny day, we’ve had a few lately (even in damp Wales!). Imagine that you can only create one photo, walk and observe. Wait until a photo opportunity stops you. Look at the scene. Consider how you will frame it (what is in the frame and what is out?) Consider how your camera will see the scene. Then create one photo.

Share your favourite photo here. This is mine. I like to include myself quite often, the photographer in his world. Here I have created a reminder of my day, relaxing in the sun after a walk along the beach. With an element of summer play in the background. I look forward to seeing yours.

 

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12 inches

“The single most important component of a camera is the twelve inches behind it.” – Ansel Adams

This is my most often repeated quote. I ask the question, “What is the most important part of the camera?”, a deliberately misleading question, I know. It illicits answers that reveal a technical focus and occasionally compostional awareness. Once in a while someone will answer. “You are.” And I smile.

The camera is a tool. Bewitched by advertising and media reports about the latest camera developments we become immersed in the idea that a particular camera or lens will lead to ‘better’ photographs. The Ansel Adams quote is a reminder that it is you who is the creative agent, you who make the creative decisions. Sure high quality equipment can make a difference, but knowing how to use the equipment effectively (smartphone or DSLR) and learning how to truly see are at the heart of personal resonant photography.

Mindful Photography is all about photography that is personal, resonant and true to you. It places clear seeing, learning how to see like a camera and using seeing as an anchor, at the heart of the creative art. It uses mindfulness approaches to learn and hold gently all the technical and compositional stuff, whilst you are learning. It encourages an exploration of using photography to represent your emotional experiences, and it provides a creative vehicle for personal growth and self exploration of how you are living now.

Ansel Adams was right. You are the most important component of a camera.

The Photos

I thought I would illustrate this quote with photos from my most recent practice, with my faithful assistant. All of these photos were created with a small high end compact camera. It has full manual features so I can make creative choices. But these photos illustrate clearly that the heart of an engaging photo is an emotional connection and clear seeing. When there is an alignment between your eye, your heart and your mind the photo created resonates for you. What the viewer thinks or experiences is always out of your control. Create photographs that mean something to you.

These photos, in chronological order follow our walk through, park, lane and beach. And the final one tells the tale of its impact. Monty’s version of savasana (corpse pose)!

 

10 more things you don’t know about me (probably)

I was browsing through my old posts today and came across 25 things you don’t know about me (probably), which I wrote whilst on holiday in Canada 16 months ago. I thought it was time for an update!

  1. I am in love. Oo, that feels good. Not often in your life you can say that. There is hope for us all! At the tender age of 56 I have met a wonderful woman and we find ourselves mutually attracted in everyway and on the same page in life. Stay tuned!
  2. I am now working freelance – for the first time in 56 years. Scary and exciting.
  3. I have recently taken my own advice and simplified my camera equipment. I now use a Fuji X-T2 and currently have just two lenses. It feels a positive move.
  4. Continuing a daily gratitude practice with my sister in Canada has helped us to stay involved in each other’s lives.
  5. I have appeared as a film extra in the forthcoming movie Show Dogs (January 2018). I even got to play a photographer’s hands. It was tricky!
  6. Mindfulness is slowly becoming a key feature of all aspects of my life.
  7. The men’s group I started with local friends has proven to be hugely supportive for all members. Despite (or perhaps because of) some particularly challenging issues and differences it continues to be a crucible for personal development and self exploration.
  8. Since I allowed myself to be vulnerable, by writing about my health and other challenges here, my openness has spread into the rest of my life and through osmosis infected others! It is a powerful permission.
  9. I have no idea how the changes in my personal and work life will develop over the next few years, but I have a unshakable confidence that they will be rich in experience, abundant in opportunity and continued personal development.
  10. I love walking barefoot on the beach. Not just in the summer!