In my efforts to live a more mindful life I have noticed (and the noticing is a fundamental part of this practice) that sometimes I reach a place when I am uncertain what is next. As a guy who is quite focussed and keen to develop my work in line with the way I am living, I get a little uncomfortable when I find myself adrift like this.
I have been in such a place for a while now. To some extent this was masked by busy-ness. Isn’t that always the way? Whilst we are busy and active we think all is OK. The activity, the action and the achieving all contribute to our sense of purposefulness. Underneath this drive to do there may well be an absence. It is only when we stop that we begin to notice that all is not as it appeared.
Actually, I had an inkling of this and I had noticed that I had not written a blog like this (mindfully reflective/thoughtful!) for sometime. My posts had been either reports on courses delivered or activities experienced.
Now my work has slowed I have noticed this and more. I have also noticed that I haven’t written a newsletter for 2 months. The last post I wrote that was about living mindfully (not course related) was in April. The question now I have noticed is, ‘What does this all mean?’
The answer is not completely clear yet. My intention is for my work and life to be as integrated and harmonious as possible, whilst still providing income. Over the last two months I have been delivering my new course, ‘Who Am I Now?” – which supports people to explore who they are after experiencing great loss or change in their life. Whilst I have been delivering this I have been aware that this is the work that I want to do more of. I relate directly to it, I have lived it and found a way of using photography to support myself to explore and accept it. Sharing this with others is what I want to do more of. That much is clear.
How I do this and what I focus on are the parts I am now working on. I have some ideas, but as they are not completely clear I have created some space for them to develop and solidify. You may have noticed that the website has changed. I have removed my online course, Start Here page and videos. Whilst these things were relevant they always felt like aspects I was trying to do because others were, rather than what my deeper knowing was telling me to do. By getting rid of those services and information I have created space for something to flourish.
My experience of creating, promoting and providing an online course has proved to me that whilst I can do this it is not the medium that I feel most at home with and I think that this affects the quality of my work. The online course is still live and supported for those who purchased it but it is no longer open for enrollments.
My strengths are in teaching – face to face where possible – in writing and of course in creating photographs. I am going to focus on those things. My inclination at present is two fold. Firstly, to further hone the “Who Am I Now Course”, and to offer that to other groups who would benefit from the skills shared.
Secondly, to develop the ideas and materials into book form. I am not certain how this would be offered, but I am currently considering the traditional publication route, self publication, and even a mobile friendly PDF version.
There you have it. Into the space are ideas and intentions. There is also the possibility that something else might emerge. I am going to attend to this wholeheartedly for the next month and then do something that I haven’t done for 30+ years, take August off! If you have any ideas for me please let me know, otherwise stay tuned for future developments.
I shall leave you with a recent photo. This was shot in Cardiff a month ago and will be exhibited as part of Disability Arts Cymru Annual Exhibition at Celf O Gwmpas, Llandrindod Wells next month (more news soon).