I have been occasionally following the post topic suggestion from Word Press. When today’s topic of ‘Plop’ plopped into my inbox it was directly after another email, one of rejection, from a public sector provider and the word seemed entirely apposite.
Rejection is a common part of any artistic endeavour. When I first started as a photographer trying to gain commissions I soon learnt that for every proposal I made to a prospective client there would often be a resounding silence. I would put a lot of work into the sales pitch, considering how they could benefit and genuinely sharing how I believed I could provide photographs they would cherish.
Most often there would be no reply to my proposal. Many people do not like to say no and often choose to not reply as the simplest form of rejection. The not knowing why you had been passed over was often the most frustrating part, though my normal suspicion was that it was financially based.
Eventually over several years you harden to this inherent part of the process of creating photographic work for others. You tell yourself that it is inevitable and that it is not personal, but if you are honest, nagging doubts still persist.
Rejecting my baby
Recently I have developed an 8 week mindful photography course that is very close to my heart. It is very much part of what is important to me in the congruence of living with authenticity and creative photography, and as such is like a new born baby. So this rejection, whilst not entirely unexpected, is felt more keenly.
Of course noticing this attachment to my desires for success and blogging about it is part of processing the feelings. Now all I need to do is follow my own advice and go out with my camera and create some photos to accompany this post. And that I shall do any moment and you will see them below.
Meanwhile I will tie this up neatly by returning to the ‘Plop’ of rejection. That sound of something small dropping into your pond of tranquility sends ripples through your day. Simply noticing the small waves pass by and attending to what you are experiencing is enough to allow them to fade and dissipate. For that it is the way with all feelings. If we pay attention to what is happening and choose not follow the doubt and fear up its blind alley we will be able to accommodate its presence, allow its appearance and know that it is just passing through.