How often do you truly stop? Slow down from your busy pace? And what happens when you do?
This week I have stopped. Yes, I do count writing this post part of the stopping! It’s the reflecting and paying attention bit.
Over the last month I have been struggling with my breathing. In fact, if I am completely honest it’s been tricky (on and off) for most of this year. I have been aware of this and have done all I could to support my health, but within the normal pace of life.
My normal pace varies between high activity and output, to torpor. With not much in between. The torpor is my recovery when my body is telling me that I have overdone it. This is a pattern I am familiar with and it is my daily practice to notice how I am and make wise choices. Of course I don’t always get that right!
However, I have been aware for a while that I needed to stop, completely. Fortunately the ending of my part time job included some owed holiday. A week in the sun was calling.
In the period of time between deciding to take a week’s holiday and actually booking it, two things happened.
Firstly, I decided to give my throat an opportunity to open up, to remember how it could be, and took a week’s course of steroids. I do not make this choice lightly. There are many side effects from the drugs, as I have discovered. However, sometimes our body just needs help and a reminder of how it can be. Also I knew that I would then have a week in the sun to re-balance and rest as I withdrew from the medication.
The second happening was an unplanned joy. I fell in love. In a perfect moment everything changed. I have discovered that the poets and troubadours are right; that indefinable magic exists and gravitational love can explode into your life. Your life then takes a whole new trajectory.
Now I sit in the brilliant Turkish sun and scribble this post in my notebook. I am filled with warmth, deep in my soul. My breathing has re-balanced, I am deeply rested and the sun heals my need to rush off to do the next thing.
I feel great love for my lover, for myself and for everyone in my life. Sometimes it is only when you stop that you reconnect with the fathomless well of love that is often obscured by the day’s busy-ness. For it is this daily activity, driven by the need to to achieve, to do, to complete, that agitates the muddy water in our glass of life. Then your ability to see your truth is clouded. Only when you stop, does the sediment (life’s noise) settle. Then the water in your glass becomes crystal clear and you see you are surrounded by love.